Saturday, May 3, 2008

What a way to end

And yes, I've finally come to this point when the world suddenly stopped spinning, everything froze in time, and I'm like, lying still in my bed, still perplexed with the reality that it really ended. My internship flew so fast, like flashes of memories sweeping by...all I can remember is that I just kept on going to duties day by day. And today is different, I don't need to go to duties anymore. No more running to sign the attendance first thing in the morning to avoid being crossed out. No more checking on charts for new orders. No more dealing with irksome bantays whenever they feel like their patients were not being attended to quickly or they just wanted to be annoying. No more BE/IVs. And most especially, no more monitoring!

These are the things that I now lovingly put in a really good hiding place. Especially the sphygmo. I don't wanna see them until I pass the board exam. Ngek, everytime I remember the boards, I feel like an impending doom is coming. I'm not pessimistic or anything near that, it's just a mind-rattling-realization that the most crucial part of my career is just 3 months away. 3 months.

While most of my classmates and blockmates are busy reserving a spot in review centers or scheduling their out of town vacations, I'm preoccupied with squeezing in tutorial classes into my own review schedule. Hay, I'm not really sure how I'm going to pull this off but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. God will guide the way as He always does.

Amazingly, there are people who I feel like angels being sent to me as God's way of reminding me that things are going to be okay. They are actually new and old friends. One of them is Dr. Victoria Ang, otherwise known as "Mam Toyang." She said goodbye to me on my last duty at Ward 11. And I was touched when she was teary-eyed while saying how she's gonna miss our block. She said that I'm going to do well in boards and in life, in general, and she must've said that almost every intern in PGH, but it really means a lot to me. Especially that it came from someone who I really look up to. I was even surprised when she gave me a small gift which is so timely and useful for my current situation. No wonder she was chosen by the interns this year as top 1 in Puri List. She really is a gem.
Old friend like an ex-boyfriend is also part of my support system. I'm always grateful to him for always sending text messages motivating me to move forward. I know that it may sound fishy for other people, but some love relationships don't last, but most friendships do. Let's just keep it that way. My other old friends include my good old college barkada. They always know how to cheer me up...make me feel good. They really are angels.

Anyway, I almost forgot to mention that I ended my last few days of internship coming to PGH in style...
...with red eyes. I was absent for 2 days which forced the poor Valerie to go on perpetual duty. I thought that I had a viral/bacterial conjunctivitis and the pedia residents were naturally skeptic of allowing me to even chart a patient at the OPD. I now understand how it feels to be alienated. It feels really really horrible. Especially when your friends are like literally jumping out of their seats at the sight of you. Horrible. I had my eyes checked at the Sentro and the ophtha residents said that there's nothing to worry about, it's just an allergic conjunctivitis. Trigger still unknown. I had my friends back after the announcement that I'm not contagious. I then ended my internship with a perpetual duty as a payback of my absence. I'm also done with my 10 hour make-up at OB. Geez...I don't ever wanna go back there. I just wanna worry about my clearance and other stuff that I need for PRC. Grabe...this is it na talaga.

No comments: