singing for daddy

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
while you were the one with all the strain.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

HEALING

Now that we have gotten through
One more fall
I can just admit I've got it all
Cause I do
Cause I've got you
We've crossed these battle lines to many times
It passes throught the heart
But it never leaves a mark

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

I've kicked around those lines in my head
But I've never listened to the words that You said
See where its lead
Well I know I have it now
Cause You showed me how
And all I had to do
Was just to keep my eyes on You

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling
Lord I know that Your love is healing

(break)

Cause Your love just keeps on healing me
No matter how I bruise
If I just trust You
Your love just keeps on healing me
One more clue
One more chance that wasnt there before
In your arms
no pain can harm the way im feeling

Lord I know that Your love is healing

sentiments

Without a doubt, I know that I’m helplessly trapped in this dark pit of the unknown. And I’ll be trapped here for some time more. There’s nothing I can do. Since dad left, I’ve been living my life in this predetermined path. There’s no escaping it. And the mere thought of only myself to rely on, only myself to pull everything through, chokes me. It stings me. And what am I expected to do? At present, I’m just an intern, all my days and nights are dedicated to finish what’s been asked of me, what’s expected of me. And there’s no payment in return. All these mental and emotional anguish I have to bear on my own, sometimes, I stop and wonder how far I can go on like this.

hey i'm back

It's been 3 months since my community rotation/vacation/better days. Right after my community rotation, I plunged into the endless labor watching and turfing of soon-to-be-mommies to other hospitals, not to mention the unmistakable pathognomonic stench of cervical cancer patients. I thought at first that it's going to be one hell of a rotation. Well, it's not at all benign, but it's better than I expected. The only thing that made me skip with panic was the post-duty endorsements. It's only at this time that I got to read the William's Obstetrics book. I learned quite a lot, understood better this time. The residents are much nicer than the ones we had at Ospital ng Maynila. Way nicer. One big disappointment I have with my OB rotation was that in my whole 2-month-stay in their department, I only got to deliver baby twice, unassisted, and made episiorrhapy only twice too. That's about 0.5% of record I made during my clerkship. The OB residents are the ones who do the deliveries more often at PGH (I try not to think that they don't trust us or something). I finished my OB rotation with a 2-day-absence, I caught a flu and caused a contagious spread of my bacteria to my other blockmates. So I'll be back again next year for my make-up duties.

After OB, I had my Ortho and Rehab Medicine rotations. These were like breathers in between OB and Internal Medicine rotations. I got to finish the first season of Heroes, the 6th season of CSI Miami and the 3rd season of House MD. Being an Ortho intern is like being a guest cast in an all-men tv series. Most of them are really, really good-looking. The most popular of them is Dr. Louie Gaston. He was once in a shampoo commercial. Almost all interns and clerks, and even the patients, faint at the sight of him. As Ross puts it, "hindi kumpleto ang iyong PGH experience pag di mo nakita si Gaston." He's handsome, intelligent, soft-spoken, and really nice...and old rich. And then there's also Dr. Patrick Dizon. I actually have a crush on him. They say that he's also once in a shampoo or a conditioner commercial. And then the Aga Muhlach-look-alike, Dr. Pasion. He was once in a movie casted as boyfriend of Claudine Barretto. Well, that was 20 lbs ago! My rehab rotation passed by without much story to tell. I never had a rehab exposure so it was the first time that I encountered some special tests for musculoskeletal conditions and was also my first time to ever use a goniometer. That's it.

Today is my last free weekend. I know that I have to be prepared for my IM ward rotation which they say is the most toxic of all rotations. A part of me wants to panic and read through all my books, but a part of me wants to savor the last hours of "freedom." I don't know. I just wanna lay flat on my back, play dead.