purple dolls: The Grinch

It's 2:30 am, Christmas Day, and I just woke up. I just missed the whole christmas eve-12 o' clock-merry christmas thing again this year. I kept still, deciding if I would just go back to sleep or at least try to celebrate for the sake of the christmas season.I chose the latter and helped myself in the kitchen. I ate some spaghetti, chicken and leche flan which my mom cooked yesterday. And then I realized how sad and pathetic I am, celebrating on my own, and so I woke up the dogs and forced them to wear a reindeer headband and took their pictures.

And also took mine. Para fair.

Christmas can't be the same without dad. He was the merriest person in our family, the one who was always eager to take pictures, set the christmas table, serve dinner and dessert, gather us around the christmas tree...he was the life of all my past Christmases. And now no matter how hard I try to have the same christmas spirit, I end up feeling like a fool, cause I know that I'm really not happy, I don't have that christmas thing, and it's depressing.

Anyway, I looked around the house and I appreciated all the efforts my mom put into decorating our home, she herself, maybe, was trying to revive that christmas thing. I wish my dad could see her efforts, I think he would appreciate it too.

We didn't buy anything new. My mom has a great talent for decorating that she can make our home look different every year by recycling and mixing old and new decors. Our home looks happy, but we're not, really.

Anyway, despite the loneliness and depression, I still have a Christmas wishlist which is ofcourse, I know would remain just a list of all the things I want in life, but would never have because it's impractical and selfish to buy them because I know for a fact that I don't really need them to make me happy.